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I’ve Always Wanted To Be A Father…

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a father.   

There is a deeper calling to serve someone other than yourself.  

There is a calling to contribute to the whole over the self.  An opportunity for one’s ego to voluntarily step aside allowing us to serve without reservations.  

My father grew up in Cle Elum a small town founded on coal mining, railroads, and timber in the 60s.  His father left during some very formative years for my dad.  I knew my father loved my grandpa very much but, I could sense there was something missing that would never be found.

My father was very silent growing up.  We have spoken more in the last few years since his diagnosis of dementia than we did my entire upbringing combined.  I respect my father because he never complained and did the best with what he had for our family. 

I remember growing up he would leave the house at 5:00 AM and be back around dinnertime.  He would be so exhausted from work at the end of the day, he would go straight to bed so, that he could rest and be able to do it again.

The labor-intensive work took a toll on his mind and body and now he is very weak at 70. 

Our children watch us closely.  It is a keen observation.  They test us to see our reactions to stimulus not to upset us.  They don’t know it nor did we know how much we observed our parents or guardians. 

This keen observation is there to learn.  They may mimic us when they are adults or come up with alternative ways to act in accordance with what they believe is best.

I observed from my father a human basic need to have a mentor, guide, and guardian in one’s life.  This wasn’t because I had one but, because I know he did not and I did not.

I observed healthspan is more important than lifespan.  To contribute at our highest level we have to take care of ourselves first.  This is a cliche because it is true.  Be selfish in your mental, physical and spiritual life.  The people we care about you.  They want to see you vibrant and healthy.   

Fatherhood is the ultimate leadership position.  Leadership isn’t about knowing the answers.  It is about guiding and supporting others to achieve personal and common goals.  Why fatherhood is the ultimate position of leadership is because we must lead with our hearts. 

Love is the centerpiece of a father’s leadership style.  The mind and body will follow. 

My daughter needs to know that I’m not perfect.  Life isn’t perfect.  Life isn’t a television show or a movie.  Life is however beautiful and limitless.  The only boundaries we have are our creation.  Choose them wisely.  Be aware of when someone else places a boundary upon you.  These are the choices we get to make.  What course shall I take today.  

Our minds are supercomputers.  We have the most wonderful organ ever created and it is our brain.  It is beautiful, use it.  When things get tough, difficult, emotional, overwhelming, stressful take a moment and breath, and call upon your brain for help.  It is designed to problem solve, adapt and change.   There isn’t a situation life will through at you it can’t deal with.

This leads us to our thoughts.  Everything can be taken from us but, the one thing we will always have is our heart and mind.  Protect these two things but, don’t hide them.  Share them with the world.  You can be vulnerable they are tough.  They are antifragile.  Don’t believe everyone else they don’t break.  They may get hurt but, they rebuild stronger.  

We all have a father in the past or present.  That was around or gone.  No matter what you were created with a beautiful heart and mind.  Use them, share them, love them.

Happy Father’s Day!

Nick McLean
Nick McLean Real Estate

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